Review: Everything All at Once by Katrina Leno

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Everything All at Once by Katrina Leno

Published: 25th July 2017 | Publisher: HarperTeen | Source: Bought
Katrina Leno's Website

Lottie Reeves has always struggled with anxiety, and when her beloved Aunt Helen dies, Lottie begins to fear that her own unexpected death might be waiting around every corner.

Aunt Helen wasn’t a typical aunt. She was the author of the best–selling Alvin Hatter series, about siblings who discover the elixir of immortality. Her writing inspired a generation of readers.

In her will, she leaves one last writing project—just for Lottie. It’s a series of letters, each containing mysterious instructions designed to push Lottie out of her comfort zone. Soon, Lottie’s trying some writing of her own, leaping off cliffs, and even falling for a boy she’s only just met. Then the letters reveal an extraordinary secret about the inspiration for the Alvin Hatter series. Lottie finds herself faced with an impossible choice, one that will force her to confront her greatest fear once and for all. From The StoryGraph.

Purchase from Bookshop.org*

Trigger/Content Warnings: This book features panic attacks, breast cancer, death of a family member, and discussion about suicide.

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Photo by Priscilla Du Preez on Unsplash

Anxiety and Me

Today I want to talk to you about my anxiety. I've mentioned in in the past when reviewing books featuring characters with anxiety, or when it's effecting my blogging, but I haven't spoken about it specifically. I think talking about mental illness is just so important; the more we talk, the more we break the stigma.

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Review: How It Feels to Float by Helena Fox

How It Feels to Float by Helena Fox

Published: 7th May 2019 | Publisher: Dial Books | Cover Designer: Kristie Radwilowicz | Cover Illustrator: Karolis Strautiekas | Source: Bought
Helena Fox's Website

Biz knows how to float. She has her people, her posse, her mom and the twins. She has Grace. And she has her dad, who tells her about the little kid she was, who loves her so hard, and who shouldn't be here but is. So Biz doesn't tell anyone anything. Not about her dark, runaway thoughts, not about kissing Grace or noticing Jasper, the new boy. And she doesn't tell anyone about her dad. Because her dad died when she was seven. And Biz knows how to float, right there on the surface--normal okay regular fine.

But after what happens on the beach--first in the ocean, and then in the sand--the tethers that hold Biz steady come undone. Dad disappears, and with him, all comfort. It might be easier, better, sweeter to float all the way away? Or maybe stay a little longer, find her father, bring him back to her. Or maybe--maybe maybe maybe--there's a third way Biz just can't see yet. From Goodreads.

Trigger/Content Warnings: This book features sex shaming, hallucinations, disassociation, anxiety and panic attacks, depression, suicide ideation, and discussion of suicide.

Continue reading Review: How It Feels to Float by Helena Fox

Review: That's Not What Happened by Kody Keplinger (#Ad)

I received this eProof for free from Hodder Children's Book via NetGalley for the purposes of providing an honest review.

That's Not What Happened by Kody Keplinger

Published: 28th August 2019 | Publisher: Hodder Children's Books | Source: Publisher.
Kody Keplinger's Website

It's been three years since the Virgil County High School shooting. Three years since my best friend, Sarah, was killed in a bathroom stall. Everyone knows Sarah's story.

But it's not true.

I know because I was there when she died. This might be my last chance to set the record straight... but I'm not the only survivor with a story to tell about what did - and didn't - happen that day.

And the fake Sarah story is important to a lot of people, people who don't take kindly to what I'm trying to do. The more I learn, the less certain I am about what's worse: the guilt of staying silent or the consequences of speaking up... From Goodreads.

Trigger Warnings: This book features a school shooting, blood, panic attacks, discussion of trauma, and alcoholism.

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Review: A Discovery of Witches by Deborah Harkness

A Discovery of Witches by Deborah Harkness (Bought) - Fall under the spell of Diana and Matthew in the stunning first volume of the No.1 internationally bestselling ALL SOULS trilogy.

A world of witches, daemons and vampires. A manuscript which holds the secrets of their past and the key to their future. Diana and Matthew - the forbidden love at the heart of it.

When historian Diana Bishop opens an alchemical manuscript in the Bodleian Library, it's an unwelcome intrusion of magic into her carefully ordered life. Though Diana is a witch of impeccable lineage, the violent death of her parents while she was still a child convinced her that human fear is more potent than any witchcraft. Now Diana has unwittingly exposed herself to a world she's kept at bay for years; one of powerful witches, creative, destructive daemons and long-lived vampires. Sensing the significance of Diana's discovery, the creatures gather in Oxford, among them the enigmatic Matthew Clairmont, a vampire geneticist. Diana is inexplicably drawn to Matthew and, in a shadowy world of half-truths and old enmities, ties herself to him without fully understanding the ancient line they are crossing. As they begin to unlock the secrets of the manuscript and their feelings for each other deepen, so the fragile balance of peace unravels... From Goodreads.

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Mental Illness in YA Month Review: The Art of Feeling by Laura Tims

Review: The Art of Feeling by Laura Tims (Bought) - Perfect for fans of Jennifer Niven’s New York Times bestseller All the Bright Places, this contemporary YA novel explores the friendship between a girl in constant pain and a boy who feels nothing at all.

Since the car accident, Samantha Herring has been in pain, not only from her leg injury, but also from her mother’s death, which has devastated her family. After pushing away her friends, Sam has receded into a fog of depression.

But then Sam meets Eliot, a reckless loner with an attitude and an amazing secret—he can’t feel any pain. At first, Sam is jealous. But then she learns more about his medical condition…and his self-destructive tendencies. In fact, Eliot doesn’t seem to care about anything at all—except maybe Sam. As they grow closer, they begin to confront Sam’s painful memories of the accident—memories that may hold a startling truth about what really happened that day. From Goodreads.

Trigger warning: This book features sexual harassment, violence animal death, and discussion of suicide and self-harm.

Continue reading Mental Illness in YA Month Review: The Art of Feeling by Laura Tims

Mental Illness in YA Month Review: Underwater by Marisa Reichardt

Underwater by Marisa Reichardt (proof) - “Forgiving you will allow me to forgive myself.”

Morgan didn’t mean to do anything wrong that day. Actually, she meant to do something right. But her kind act inadvertently played a role in a deadly tragedy. In order to move on, Morgan must learn to forgive—first someone who did something that might be unforgivable, and then herself.

But Morgan can’t move on. She can’t even move beyond the front door of the apartment she shares with her mother and little brother. Morgan feels like she’s underwater, unable to surface. Unable to see her friends. Unable to go to school.

When it seems Morgan can’t hold her breath any longer, a new boy moves in next door. Evan reminds her of the salty ocean air and the rush she used to get from swimming. He might be just what she needs to help her reconnect with the world outside. From Goodreads.

I was sent this proof for free by Macmillan Children's Books for the purposes of providing an honest review.

Trigger Warning: This book features a school shooting.

Continue reading Mental Illness in YA Month Review: Underwater by Marisa Reichardt

Mental Illness in YA Month Review: The Lost & Found by Katrina Leno

The Lost & Found by Katrina Leno (Bought) - Sometimes you have to get lost before you can be found.

Lost: Frannie and Louis met in an online support group for trauma survivors when they were both little and have been pen pals ever since. They have never met face-to-face. They don’t even know each other’s real names. All they know is that they understand each other better than anyone else. And they both have a tendency to lose things. Well, not lose them, exactly. Things just seem to…disappear.

Found: In Louis’s mailbox is a letter, offering him a tennis scholarship—farther from home than he’s ever allowed himself to think of going.

In Frannie’s mailbox is a letter, informing her of her mother’s death—and one last wish.

Setting off from opposite coasts, Frannie and Louis each embark on a road trip to Austin, Texas, looking for answers—and each other. Along the way, each one begins to find important things the other has lost. And by the time they finally meet in person, they realize that the things you lose might be things you weren’t meant to have at all, and that you never know what you might find if you just take a chance. From Goodreads.

Trigger Warning: This book discusses suicide and self-harm, but neither happen on page. Also features ableist language that is challenged, and outdated language (which is quoted as it's used in a good point about ableism).

Continue reading Mental Illness in YA Month Review: The Lost & Found by Katrina Leno

Mental Illness in YA Month Review: The Beauty that Remains by Ashley Woodfolk

The Beauty that Remains by Ashley Woodfolk (Bought) - Music brought Autumn, Shay, and Logan together. Death wants to tear them apart.

Autumn always knew exactly who she was—a talented artist and a loyal friend. Shay was defined by two things: her bond with her twin sister, Sasha, and her love of music. And Logan always turned to writing love songs when his love life was a little less than perfect.

But when tragedy strikes each of them, somehow music is no longer enough. Now Logan can’t stop watching vlogs of his dead ex-boyfriend. Shay is a music blogger struggling to keep it together. And Autumn sends messages that she knows can never be answered.

Despite the odds, one band's music will reunite them and prove that after grief, beauty thrives in the people left behind. From Goodreads.

Trigger warning: This book features discussion of suicide, and panic attacks.

Continue reading Mental Illness in YA Month Review: The Beauty that Remains by Ashley Woodfolk

Mental Illness in YA Month Review: Last Night I Sang to the Monster by Benjamin Alire Sáenz

Last Night I Sang to the Monster by Benjamin Alire Sáenz (bought) - Zach is eighteen. He is bright and articulate. He's also an alcoholic and in rehab instead of high school, but he doesn't remember how he got there. He's not sure he wants to remember. Something bad must have happened. Something really, really bad. Remembering sucks and being alive - well, what's up with that?

I have it in my head that when we're born, God writes things down on our hearts. See, on some people's hearts he writes Happy and on some people's hearts he writes Sad and on some people's hearts he writes Crazy on some people's hearts he writes Genius and on some people's hearts he writes Angry and on some people's hearts he writes Winner and on some people's hearts he writes Loser. It's all like a game to him. Him. God. And it's all pretty much random. He takes out his pen and starts writing on our blank hearts. When it came to my turn, he wrote Sad. I don't like God very much. Apparently he doesn't like me very much either. From Goodreads.

Trigger Warning: This book features sexual assault, domestic violence, discussion of the experience of child abuse, male rape, and blackmail for sex, discussion of the experience of racism with use of the n-word.

Continue reading Mental Illness in YA Month Review: Last Night I Sang to the Monster by Benjamin Alire Sáenz

Mental Illness in YA Month Review: White Rabbit, Red Wolf by Tom Pollock

White Rabbit, Red Wolf by Tom Pollock (proof) - Peter Blankman is afraid of everything and must confront unimaginable terror when his mother is attacked.

Seventeen-year-old Peter Blankman is a maths prodigy. He also suffers from severe panic attacks. Afraid of everything, he finds solace in the orderly and logical world of mathematics and in the love of his family: his scientist mum and his tough twin sister Bel, as well as Ingrid, his only friend.

However, when his mother is found stabbed before an award ceremony and his sister is nowhere to be found, Pete is dragged into a world of espionage and violence where state and family secrets intertwine. Armed only with his extraordinary analytical skills, Peter may just discover that his biggest weakness is his greatest strength. From Goodreads.

I received this eProof for free from Walker Books via NetGalley for the purposes of providing an honest review.

Trigger warning: This book features a suicide attempt.

Continue reading Mental Illness in YA Month Review: White Rabbit, Red Wolf by Tom Pollock

Mental Illness in YA Month Review: It's Kind of a Funny Story by Ned Vizzini

It's Kind of a Funny Story by Ned Vizzini (Gift) - Ambitious New York City teenager Craig Gilner is determined to succeed at life - which means getting into the right high school to get into the right job. But once Craig aces his way into Manhattan's Executive Pre-Professional High School, the pressure becomes unbearable. He stops eating and sleeping until, one night, he nearly kills himself.

Craig's suicidal episode gets him checked into a mental hospital, where his new neighbors include a transsexual sex addict, a girl who has scarred her own face with scissors, and the self-elected President Armelio. There, Craig is finally able to confront the sources of his anxiety.

Ned Vizzini, who himself spent time in a psychiatric hospital, has created a remarkably moving tale about the sometimes unexpected road to happiness. From Goodreads.

Trigger warning: Suicide attempt and discussion of suicide.

Continue reading Mental Illness in YA Month Review: It's Kind of a Funny Story by Ned Vizzini

Mental Illness in YA Month Review: A Semi-Definitive List of Worst Nightmares by Krystal Sutherland

A Semi-Definitive List of Worst Nightmares by Krystal Sutherland (eProof) - Ever since Esther Solar's grandfather was cursed by Death, everyone in her family has been doomed to suffer one great fear in their lifetime. Esther's father is agoraphobic and hasn't left the basement in six years, her twin brother can't be in the dark without a light on, and her mother is terrified of bad luck.

The Solars are consumed by their fears and, according to the legend of the curse, destined to die from them.

Esther doesn't know what her great fear is yet (nor does she want to), a feat achieved by avoiding pretty much everything. Elevators, small spaces, and crowds are all off-limits. So are haircuts, spiders, dolls, mirrors and three dozen other phobias she keeps a record of in her semi-definitive list of worst nightmares.

Then Esther is pickpocketed by Jonah Smallwood, an old elementary school classmate. Along with her phone, money and a fruit roll-up she'd been saving, Jonah also steals her list of fears. Despite the theft, Esther and Jonah become friends, and he sets a challenge for them: in an effort to break the curse that has crippled her family, they will meet every Sunday of senior year to work their way through the list, facing one terrifying fear at a time, including one that Esther hadn't counted on: love. From Goodreads.

I received this eProof for free from Hot Key Books via NetGalley for the purposes of providing an honest review.

Trigger Warning: This book features attempted suicide, panic attacks, and discusses paedophilia and child murder.

Warning: This review will contain spoilers, as I find certain areas problematic, in regards to my personal experience with anxiety. At the same time, I understand that anxiety can affect those with this mental illness differently, and so while I find this book problematic based on my experience, it's possible this is an accurate representation of anxiety for others. Though it is important to state that this isn't an #OwnVoices novel.

Continue reading Mental Illness in YA Month Review: A Semi-Definitive List of Worst Nightmares by Krystal Sutherland

Mental Illness in YA Month Discussion: How Representation Made a Difference for Me

We often hear about how "representation matters". But I’m not quite sure those who have no trouble finding books in which they see themselves – because there are so many they don’t even have to think about it – really understand why it is so important. It’s not just about being able to point at a character and say, "I know this person; this is me." Seeing yourself in a book can have a much bigger impact than simple recognition. For me, reading about someone who was going through similar experiences as me helped me through one of the scariest periods of my life.

Continue reading Mental Illness in YA Month Discussion: How Representation Made a Difference for Me

Mental Illness in YA Month Review: The Wicker King by K. Ancrum

The Wicker King by K. Ancrum (Bought) - When August learns that his best friend, Jack, shows signs of degenerative hallucinatory disorder, he is determined to help Jack cope. Jack’s vivid and long-term visions take the form of an elaborate fantasy world layered over our own—a world ruled by the Wicker King. As Jack leads them on a quest to fulfill a dark prophecy in this alternate world, even August begins to question what is real or not.

August and Jack struggle to keep afloat as they teeter between fantasy and their own emotions. In the end, each must choose his own truth. From Goodreads.

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Mental Illness in YA Month Review: Vanished by E. E. Cooper

Vanished by E. E. Cooper (bought) - Friendship. Obsession. Deception. Love.

Kalah knows better than to fall for Beth Taylor . . . but that doesn't stop her from falling hard and falling fast, heart first into a sea of complications.

Then Beth vanishes. She skips town on her eighteenth birthday, leaving behind a flurry of rumors and a string of broken hearts. Not even Beth's best friend, Britney, knows where she went. Beth didn't even tell Kalah good-bye.

One of the rumors links Beth to Britney's boyfriend, and Kalah doesn't want to believe the betrayal. But Brit clearly believes it—and before Kalah can sort out the truth, Britney is dead.

When Beth finally reaches out to Kalah in the wake of Brit's suicide, Kalah wants to trust what Beth tells her. But she's swiftly realizing that nothing here is as it seems. Kalah's caught in the middle of a deadly psychological game, and only she can untangle the deceptions and lies to reveal the unthinkable truth. From Goodreads.

Trigger Warning: This book features a panic attack, discussion of suicide, and ableist language.

Continue reading Mental Illness in YA Month Review: Vanished by E. E. Cooper

Review: The Upside of Unrequited by Becky Albertalli (#Ad)

The Upside of Unrequited by Becky Albertalli

I received this eProof for free from Puffin via NetGalley for the purposes of providing an honest review.

Seventeen-year-old Molly Peskin-Suso knows all about unrequited love-she's lived through it twenty-six times. She crushes hard and crushes often, but always in secret. Because no matter how many times her twin sister, Cassie, tells her to woman up, Molly can't stomach the idea of rejection. So she's careful. Fat girls always have to be careful.

Then a cute new girl enters Cassie's orbit, and for the first time ever, Molly's cynical twin is a lovesick mess. Meanwhile, Molly's totally not dying of loneliness-except for the part where she is.
Luckily, Cassie's new girlfriend comes with a cute hipster-boy sidekick. Will is funny, flirtatious, and just might be perfect crush material. Maybe more than crush material. And if Molly can win him over, she'll get her first kiss and she'll get her twin back.

There's only one problem: Molly's coworker, Reid. He's an awkward Tolkien superfan, and there's absolutely no way Molly could fall for him. Right? From Goodreads.

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Review: A Quiet Kind of Thunder by Sara Barnard (#Ad)

A Quiet Kind of Thunder by Sara Barnard

I was sent this proof for free by Macmillan Children's Books for the purpose of providing an honest review.

Steffi doesn't talk, but she has so much to say.
Rhys can't hear, but he can listen.
Their love isn't a lightning strike, it's the rumbling roll of thunder.

Steffi has been a selective mute for most of her life - she's been silent for so long that she feels completely invisible. But Rhys, the new boy at school, sees her. He's deaf, and her knowledge of basic sign language means that she's assigned to look after him. To Rhys, it doesn't matter that Steffi doesn't talk, and as they find ways to communicate, Steffi finds that she does have a voice, and that she's falling in love with the one person who makes her feel brave enough to use it. From Goodreads.

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Review: Highly Illogical Behaviour by John Corey Whaley

Highly Illogical Behaviour by John Corey Whaley (Proof) - Sixteen year old Solomon has agoraphobia. He hasn't left his house in three years, which is fine by him. At home, he is the master of his own kingdom--even if his kingdom doesn't extend outside of the house.

Ambitious Lisa desperately wants to go to a top tier psychiatry program. She'll do anything to get in.

When Lisa finds out about Solomon's solitary existence, she comes up with a plan sure to net her a scholarship: befriend Solomon. Treat his condition. And write a paper on her findings. To earn Solomon's trust, Lisa begins letting him into her life, introducing him to her boyfriend Clark, and telling him her secrets. Soon, Solomon begins to open up and expand his universe. But all three teens have grown uncomfortably close, and when their facades fall down, their friendships threaten to collapse as well. From Goodreads.

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Review: Holding Up the Universe by Jennifer Niven

Review: Holding Up the Universe by Jennifer Niven (Proof) - Everyone thinks they know Libby Strout, the girl once dubbed 'America's Fattest Teen'. But no one's taken the time to look past her weight to get to see who she really is. Since her mum's death, she's been picking up the pieces in the privacy of her home, dealing with her heartbroken father and her own grief. Now, Libby's ready: for high school, for new friends, for love, and for EVERY POSSIBILITY LIFE HAS TO OFFER. I know the part I want to play here at MVB High. I want to be the girl who can do anything.

Everyone thinks they know Jack Masselin too. Yes, he's got swagger, but he's also mastered the art of fitting in. What no one knows is that Jack has a secret: he can't recognize faces. Even his own brothers are strangers to him. He's the guy who can re-engineer and rebuild anything, but he can't understand what's going on with the inner workings of his own brain. So he tells himself to play it cool: Be charming. Be hilarious. Don't get too close to anyone.

Until he meets Libby. When the two get tangled up in a cruel high school game which lands them in group counselling, Libby and Jack are both angry, and then surprised. Because the more time they spend together, the less alone they feel. Because sometimes when you meet someone, it changes the world - theirs and yours. From Goodreads.

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