Body Image and Self-Perception Month Has Ended!

Today is the last day of Body Image and Self-Perception Month - and I believe this is the last post for the month! That's it! Finished!

Once you've read this, if you think you may have missed out on some posts, be sure to check out the BI&SP Month Schedule, which links directly to each of them.

I have a lot of thank yous to give, but before I do, I want to say how awesome it has been hosting this month. Not only have I read some amazing novels and discovered some new authors, but it's helped me. It turns out, although I knew my self-esteem wasn't brilliant, it wasn't as good as I thought it was either. But reading these books, reading the author interviews and guest posts, and reading the discussions we've all been having, I've come to like the way I look a whole lot more than I originally did. You have no idea how much better I now feel about myself. And I sincerely hope it's helped some of the people who have been following the month in some way too.

Now the thank you's! I want to thank everyone who got involved! I have to say I was, and still am, completely overwhelmed by the number of bloggers who loved the idea of BI&SP Month, and wanted to take part on their own blogs. When I opened it up to other bloggers, I thought I might get two or three other people to join in if I was lucky. I never expected to end up with 11! I am just completely over the moon that so many people wanted to take part, and I am so grateful to all of you wonderful people. These great people are:

Christina of Reading Extensively, Rebecca of Everything To Do With Books, Julianne of This Fleeting Dream, Molly of A Dazzling Distraction, Caroline of Portrait of a Woman, Sasha of The Sweet Bonjour, Carina of Reading Through Life, Callista of SMS Book Reviews, Jami of YA Addict, Michelle of Fluttering Butterflies, and Ashley of Books from Bleh to Basically Amazing.

You are all brilliant people, and I thank you for the work you all put into making BI&SP Month as brilliant as it has been! I have to admit that I didn't know of some of your blogs before hand, but now I will definitely be following you all! :) Thanks for your enthusiasm!

There are also a whole group of authors I have to thank, too. Thank you to the wonderful authors who allowed us bloggers to interview you, provided guest posts, and wrote something for today's You're Not Alone posts. So thanks goes to Jan Blazanin, Sydney Salter, Mary Hogan, Simmone Howell, Simone Elkeles, Laurie Halse Anderson, Sarah Darer Littman, Allen Zadoff, Deborah Lytton, A.M. Vrettos, Suzanne Supplee, Liz Rettig, and K.L. Going. I am so thrilled that so many of you took time out of your busy schedules to contribute to this month. Thank you for being a part of this month because you wanted to. I can't tell you just how awesome that is! And I'm grateful to those who were talking about books that were years old, when you all probably have current/soon-to-be-released novels to promote. I am sincerely thankful.

To all the authors who helped me out when I was in a bind and provided me with review copies so that there COULD be a BI&SP Month - at least on my blog - you are just amazing! Thank you so much! Again, these books aren't the latest ones released, so I'm so grateful for you to send me copies! Thanks also goes to book publishers Bloomsbury, Random House and Simon & Schuster for sending me backlisted review copies as well. I really appreciate it!

Thank you to Rhys of Thirst for Fiction and Luisa of Chicklish for writing guest posts! They were much appreciated! And extra thanks to Luisa for support, encouragement, enthusiasm, and general cheer leading for the month! I really appreciate it, thank you!

Finally, thank you to the readers! To everyone who read the posts for the month, whether you commented or lurked, who retweeted about various posts, and generally supported it, thank you! I hope you all enjoyed it as much as I did!

I'll finish by saying I hope the month had some impact on you all, no matter how small. whether it's to how you view yourself, or discovering a book/author you'd like to give a go, or by enjoying the discussions or being touched by the author's/blogger's honesty today. If so, then it's all the hard work has been worth it.

If you've got a few minutes spare, I'd be really grateful if you could fill in this feeback form, to tell me what you thought of the month. Thank you.

Continue reading Body Image and Self-Perception Month Has Ended!

Further Reading

If you would like to read more books on body image and self-perception, the following may be something you'd be interested in reading. Not all is fiction, some are memoirs.

Nothing by Robin Friedman - The most popular guy at his high school, 17-year-old Parker Rabinowitz is wealthy, smart, and drop-dead handsome. He's a sure thing for HYP (Harvard, Yale, or Princeton) according to his college consultant, whom Parker has worked with since he was 14. Parker's got just one problem: he's bulimic. Nothing is presented in two distinct first-person voices - those of Parker and his 14-year-old sister, Danielle. Parker tells his side of the story in present-tense narrative, which becomes progressively more stripped down as he's consumed by the disorder.Danielle tells her side of the story in free verse. Danielle, who is barely even acknowledged by their achievement-obsessed parents, is known in school as 'Parker's sister'. Despite all this, Danielle loves her brother. And she's the only one who seems to notice what's happening behind Parker's perfect-seeming exterior, as he disappears into a world of deception and desperation. Complex and realistic, this novel's ultimate message is one of hope. From Amazon UK

Huge by Sasha Paley - Sixteen-year-olds Wilhelmina and April meet at Wellness Springs, a posh fat camp in California. Wil is not happy to be there - her parents own a chain of gyms and see their overweight daughter as a PR disaster - so she plans not to lose a pound all summer in order to get back at them. April, on the other hand, can't believe her luck. She's been saving for a whole year to come to Wellness Springs after she saw it featured in Teen Vogue. She can't wait to work off her excess weight, and then bring on the guys! Assigned to be room mates and work-out partners, the girls hate each other from the start. And things get worse when they both go after the same guy. Can Wil make it through the summer, and finally be accepted by her parents? Will April ever find someone willing to be a real boyfriend, even though she may never be skinny? A funny and poignant novel about friendship and self-acceptance. From Amazon UK

Secrets of Truth and Beauty by Megan Frazer - And the first runner up is...

When Dara Cohen was little, she was a bright, shiny star. She was the cutest seven-year-old who ever sang Ella Fitzgerald, and it was no wonder she was crowned Little Miss Maine.

That was then. Now Dara's seventeen and she's not so little anymore. So not little, that when her classmates find out about her illustrious resume, their jaws drop. That's just one of her many problems. Another is that her control-freak mom won’t get off her case about anything. Yet the one that hurts the most is the family secret: Dara has an older sister her parents tried to erase from their lives.

When a disastrously misinterpreted English project lands her in the counselor’s office--and her parents pull her out of school to save face--Dara realizes she has a decision to make. She can keep following the rules and being misunderstood, or she can finally reach out to the sister she’s never met--a sister who lives on a collective goat farm in Massachusetts. Dara chooses B. What follows is a summer of revelations, some heartbreaking, some joyous; of friendship, romance, a local beauty pageant; and choices. And as autumn approaches, Dara finds she may have to let go of everything she's taken for granted in order to figure out who she really is, and what family really means. From Amazon US

Fat Cat by Robin Brande - You are what you eat....

Cat smart, sassy, and funny—but thin, she’s not. Until her class science project. That’s when she winds up doing an experiment—on herself. Before she knows it, Cat is living—and eating—like the hominids, our earliest human ancestors. True, no chips or TV is a bummer and no car is a pain, but healthful eating and walking everywhere do have their benefits.

As the pounds drop off, the guys pile on. All this newfound male attention is enough to drive a girl crazy! If only she weren’t too busy hating Matt McKinney to notice....

This funny and thoughtful novel explores how girls feel about their bodies, and the ways they can best take care of their most precious resource: themselves. From Amazon US

Accidents of Nature by Harriet McBryde Johnson - Seventeen-year-old Jean has cerebral palsy and gets around in a wheelchair, but she's always believed she's just the same as everyone else. She goes to normal school and has normal friends. She's never really known another disabled person before she arrives at Camp Courage. But there Jean meets Sara, who welcomes her to 'Crip Camp' and nicknames her Spazzo. Sara has radical theories about how people fit into society. She's full of rage and revolution against pitying insults and the lack of respect for people with disabilities. As Jean joins a community unlike any she has ever imagined, she comes to question her old beliefs and look at the world in a new light. The camp session is only ten days long, but that may be all it takes to change a life forever. From Amazon UK

Does My Bum Look Big In This Ad? by Lisa Cox - Ever wondered why you don’t look like the people in magazine ads?

Heaps of books look at how popular culture (like the media) affect the way you feel about yourself. Unfortunately, they’re mostly written about young people, not for young people… until now!

Lisa Cox takes a behind the scenes look at the media industry: Showing you how to critically and independently evaluate what you see, hear or read in popular culture.

You’ll also learn how to develop and maintain a positive body image, now and in the future, as you navigate your way through the media maze.
From MuseInTheMirror.com

Thin by Grace Bowman - Bright, popular, pretty and successful, Grace Bowman had the world at her feet. So what drove her to starve herself nearly to death at the age of 18? And what, more importantly, made her stop? A grippingly honest account of life with anorexia nervosa, A Shape of My Own is Grace's hearbreaking, shocking and, finally, inspirational memoir. An extraordinary story, it is also a common one - is there a woman in the western world who has a normal relationship with food? A compulsive read, essential for anyone hoping to understand more about eating disorders and overcoming addiction. From Amazon UK

Wasted by Marya Hornbacher - A 'retired career anorexic' examines herself and her, and our, culture in a masterpiece of confessional literature. At the age of four Marya Hornbacher looked in a mirror and decided she was fat. At nine, she was bulimic. At twelve, she was anorexic. By the time she was eighteen, she'd been hospitalized five times, once in the loony bin. Her doctors and her parents had given up on her; they were watching her die. But Marya decided to live. Four years on, now 22, here is her harrowing tale, powerfully told in a virtuoso mix of memoir, cultural criticism and psychological examination. Here is the amazingly articulate fury of a clever woman made stupid by her culture, who threw away her teenage years in a continuous cycle of bingeing and vomiting or just plain starvation. The first book to explore, from the inside, the intimate relationship between eating disorders and 1990s culture's historically unprecedented obsession with body, diet and gender; not a testimony to a miracle cure, but the story of one woman's travels to the darker side of reality, and her decision to find her way back, on her own terms. From Amazon UK

Good Girls Do Swallow by Rachael Oakes-Ash - Between the ages of 20 and 30, Rachael Oakes-Ash lost 60kg and gained 76kg on a rollercoaster of body image problems and food obsession. She went through anorexia, bulimia, bulimarexia, gym obsession, strict dieting and binge eating before finally she figured out how to stop torturing herself and hating her body. This is the black and funny story of her downfall and recovery. Rachael might have taken things further than many of us, but this is a story every woman can relate to. In Australia, 75 per cent of women think they are too fat and 95 per cent of women have dieted (even though dieting is the best way to put on weight). You might not have rescued food from the bin in a moment of binge-madness but if you've ever felt lousy and reached for a chocolate biscuit for comfort this book is for you. "What the diet promised, I got," writes Rachael. "I got the body that can wear the clothes. I got the job I love, I got the man I want. But I only got it for keeps when I stopped dieting. "Good Girls Do Swallow" shows how she did it. And how you can, too. From Amazon U

Stick Figure: A Diary of My Former Self by Lori Gottlieb - Based on diaries written in 1978, when she was eleven years old, the author offers a chronicle of her battle with anorexia and the pressures from family, peers, and society that led her to starve herself. From Amazon UK

Purge: Rehab Diaries: Life in an Easting Disorders Treatment Centre by Nicole Johns - With a Girl Interrupted feel, this memoir is beautifully crafted and will appeal to many readers who enjoy the 'misery-memoir' genre. In this engaging, raw memoir, Nicole Johns documents her battle with an eating disorder. Focusing primarily on her three months in a treatment facility, Johns translates her experience directly to the page. Her prose is lucid, and she seamlessly switches tenses and moves through time as she unearths several important themes: body image and sexuality, sexual abuse and relationships, and the struggle to piece together one's path in life.While other books dealing with this theme may sugar coat the harsh realities of living with an eating disorder, "Purge" does not hold back. Johns' presents an honest, detailed account of her experience with treatment, avoiding the happily-ever-after while still offering hope to the millions struggling with these devastating disorders. "Purge" sends a message to those who are fighting an uphill battle with an eating disorder: though the road may be rough, ultimately there is hope. From Amazon UK

Hungry: Lessons Learned on the Journey from Fat to Thin by Allen Zadoff - This work provides weight loss advice and inspiration from the delicious, calorific yet uncomfortably large life experiences of a formerly fat man. With an appetite both for life and for binge eating, hungry man Allen Zadoff spent years reasoning that a big, healthy man should have a big, healthy appetite and that his rapidly increasing girth was no more than a regular guy thing. He even took pride in his eating prowess, polishing off boxes of chocolates with aplomb and devouring enough dim sum to feed a wedding party. After all, he rationalized, real men don't have eating disorders - they have healthy appetites. By the age of 28, Zadoff's waistline had swelled to size 54, his shirts to 4XL. What had started as a little weight problem had become a serious issue on the way to destroying his life. He began to suspect that thinness would forever elude him, even as he searched desperately for a way to lose the weight that stood stubbornly in the way of his happiness. Then food stopped working for him - instead of bringing momentary peace, it was increasingly carrying him to new depths of despair. It was then Zadoff realized that no amount of willpower and no known diet could break his addiction to food. He needed to find a new way of living, a set of tools for staying 'on the wagon' that would carry him into thin and beyond. He began to focus less on what he ate, and began instead to focus on the physical and emotional underpinnings of what he came to understand as a disease. The pounds melted away and so began the adventure of a lifetime. As laugh-out-loud funny as it is inspirational, Hungry follows Zadoff's incredible journey - what he thought he knew about life, weight and happiness on his way up the scale, and more importantly, everything he learned now that he's found his way back down. Blending his personal story with surprising but practical strategies for weight loss success, Zadoff has created a unique book that will delight and inform men and women alike. From Amazon US

If you know of any others, please recommend them and I'll add them to the list.

Continue reading Further Reading

You're Not Alone (4)

Angela Morrison - YA author of Sing Me to Sleep:

I've got a couple of major insecurities. The first one is I'm hideous in pictures--the most unphotogenic person I know . When my first novel, TAKEN BY STORM, was being published, we lived in Switzerland. I freaked when my editor said they needed an author's photo. No "Glamor Shots" at the corner mall like they have here in the States. I went on Razorbill's website and all there authors were young and beautiful--glam to the extreme. What was I going to do? My daughter is a great photographer, so we went down to the lake and she took tons and tons of pictures. Most of them turned out like this:


Click image for a larger view.
I did manage to keep my eyes open and mouth closed in a couple of them. Then I discovered the wonders of iPhoto's retouch tools. All the sudden, I'm glam, too. But it so isn't real.

I gave my other deep, dark shame to the heroine in my debut novel, TAKEN BY STORM. Remember how awkward you felt when you were twelve to fourteen and started to develop? I'm still waiting for that to happen. Bring on the awkwardness. The bosom fairy lost my address and never caught up with me.

In high school it was so embarrassing. I never advanced beyond a training bra. There is an incident in TAKEN BY STORM where Leesie gets groped on the bus. That came right out of my experience. (Except there was no tall, dark, and wounded new kid to stand up for me.) I just cringed into myself and never said anything about it to anyone. I couldn't admit that it had happened enough to talk about it.

And, this is crazy, and stupid and I should not have felt like this but I did, the most humiliating thing about being violated like that was that I had nothing to grab. I felt exposed. My secret ripped away. (Not that it wasn't obvious to everyone who looked at me.)

I couldn't even let Leesie report the fictional jerk I created to grope her. She does discuss it with Michael and her online soul-mate, Kim. More than I allowed myself. But I couldn't get Leesie into that principal's office--couldn't let her mom find out.

And that is so wrong. We girls (and guys, too) need to stand up for ourselves. Any unwanted contact is harassment. Serious stuff. That kind of abuse makes wounds that need salve to heal. I know my daughter--and all my readers out there who I think of as daughters--are stronger than I was. She'd report it. You'd report it. And get help dealing with the emotional trauma that accompanies any abuse. And these days, you face so much worse than what I did. Protect yourselves. Be smart. Avoid being alone on dates. Don't let anyone pressure you into doing anything you don't want to do.

Love and romance is a wonderful thing, but not if we are destroyed by it. Or destroy someone else. Intimacy isn't a free for all. It's serious, powerful stuff. Handle with care.

All my love,

Angela

Continue reading You're Not Alone (4)

You're Not Alone (3)

Julianne of This Fleeting Dream:

When I was at school, I was bullied for: being tall, being skinny, being pale and refusing to fake tan, having big feet (and therefore unfashionable shoes), having a big nose, having a ‘posh’ accent (because I didn’t mysteriously develop a Mockney accent in Year 8), having unfortunately oily hair, having a belly button that looks like it’s been stretched, having small boobs, not having my ears pierced, wearing glasses, wearing braces, not wearing make-up and not having had a boyfriend. At one point or another, I obsessed over each of these things, especially the last, because it was the logical, unavoidable, and in my mind eternal consequence of all the previous items.

I hardly ever think about these things now. I wear contact lenses, finished with the braces, and learned that conditioner hates my hair, but I don’t look fundamentally different. All that’s changed is my mindset. It’s hard to feel great about the shape you have through genetic coincidence when for years and years you believed it made you ugly. But it can be done. You just have to stop listening. In most situations in life, it’s a good idea to listen to other people, take expert advice, and be open minded. But when it comes to the physical things about you that you cannot change, or deep down, aren’t really that fussed about changing, close that mind! Bar entry to your brain! Ignore, ignore, ignore, ignore, ignore it. It’s actually easier in the long run to stop listening to that rubbish. It’s more logical to find your own way, to be happy because of who you are and the things you do because you can control all of that. Remember that you will never ever maintain proximity to the cultural ideal for more than a couple of years because you will get old. It is not worth bothering with because you cannot possibly hold onto it. It is just a lie, one that could destroy you if you pursue it. So don’t buy magazines full of pictures of people that you will never look like. Stop worrying about getting a romantic partner. Do stuff instead! Read books, play instruments, learn things, dress up in clothes you think are fun. Clothes and make-up are not the enemy if you’re trying to express yourself, rather than achieve that impossible ideal. Try wearing things that actually emphasize your so-called flaws. I wear vertical striped skinny trousers which I am sure make me look more like a stick but they make me feel like awesome incarnate so who cares?

If you see someone and think they don’t care enough about their looks, that they have bad taste, or wear colours that don’t suit them – mind your own business! They might be too busy curing cancer or trying to save the rhinos or doing something else amazing to be bothered about meeting your beauty standards. Be your own kind of beautiful, and always be kind to others.

Continue reading You're Not Alone (3)

You're Not Alone (2)

Sarah Darer Littman - YA author of Purge.

Most girls anticipate the arrival of their breasts with Judy Blumesque fervor. (“I must, I must, I must increase my bust.”) I tried to ignore mine. I wore the same bra, a 34A, all through high school. Sported flannel shirts and other camouflage clothes to conceal the suggestion of a chest, and developed a stoop shouldered posture to aid in this endeavor.

My grandmother was appalled. “Wings back, chest out!” was probably her most uttered admonition to me during my high school years. What she didn’t understand was that the last thing in the world I wanted to do was walk around with my chest out. It frightened me. Well, not it per se, but the attention that they seemed to attract whenever they were unveiled. Grandma was so determined to rectify my slumping posture that she would make me walk the length of our back deck with a book balanced on my head. Kicking it old school. What she didn’t know was that as soon as I exited the front door, I reverted to my slumping, chest-concealing ways.

I ignored my breasts so much I didn’t even realize they’d grown. My first semester of college, they kept falling out of my ancient bra when I ran for the bus. When I went home for Thanksgiving, I told my mom and we went to Lord and Taylor. The bra fitter told me I was no longer a 34A, I was actually a 34C. Great. Even more to hide.

When I was in my 30’s, I had kids. Finally, my breasts had a raison d’etre. I loved breastfeeding – the closeness with my babies, the knowledge that I was giving them the best nutrition possible. But instead of shrinking, as many women’s do after nursing children, mine got even bigger. WTF?! If my shoulders got any more rounded, I’d look like Quasimodo.

Out of all my body parts, I’m still the most insecure and self-conscious about my chest, but after years of therapy and with that je ne sais quois that’s come to me with middle age, I’ve learned to accept “the girls”. They still cause me frustration when I’m dress shopping or worse still, looking for swimwear. But I write in my basement, and at the bookstore where I work part-time I can wear skirts and tops, so I don’t wear that many dresses. And I found a great place that sells cute bikinis with supportive bra tops for well-endowed women. So if I’ve got them, why not, if not exactly flaunt them, at least not hide them? And definitely, definitely stop hating them. Because life’s too short to waste energy on that. I’d rather be writing.

Continue reading You're Not Alone (2)

You're Not Alone (1)

Just like the title says, you are not alone. Several authors and bloggers were kind enough to share with us some of their own insecurities. These are bloggers you follow, authors you admire. Real people you know of who suffer from their own low self-esteem or poor body image. It's not just in books and on TV. We know exactly how you feel.

This is the first post of a few posts that will be posted today. Some contributors wanted to say a bit more, so they will have their own posts. Keep an eye out for them.

I probably don't have to say this, but I will just to be on the safe side. It takes a lot to be open and honest about things like this. These people are being incredibily brave. Please treat them and their honesty with the respect they deserve. Thank you.

On any of the posts that follow, if you wish to share your own insecurites, please feel free to do so. However, there is no pressure to if you'd rather not.

Jo of Once Upon a Bookcase:

I have never had an eating disorder of any kind, but people assume I have, or do have, just by looking at me. I have a high metabolism, which means I am very skinny and have so much trouble putting weight on. I also have a poor excuse for a bust, and to top it off, I look a lot younger than I am. I'm also pretty shy and quiet, and never used to think much of myself. School used to be a nightmare. Shopping IS a nightmare; shopping for smart clothes for jobs involves me looking at the trendy school uniform pieces shops like New Look sell - and I'm 23. Around fifty per cent of the things I buy need altering, taking in or up. Reading the books I have for Body Image & Self-Perception Month, it's made me aware of my own self-esteem, and it's really not that great.

My self-esteem used to be a whole lot worse, though. I was bullied at school, and used to get so low. But then something switched inside me. I wasn't going to let these people make me feel so bad. So I'm not perfect, but what can I really do about it without taking drastic actions? Nothing. So I decided to stop worrying about it. I doubt I'll ever be completely happy with myself, but I've learned to accept that this is me, I'm not really that bad, and there are other qualities about myself that are far more important than how I look anyway. I've realised how lucky I am compared to some people. I'm not disfigured. I'm not disabled. Where I might not look amazing, there are those who are a lot worse off. Being me isn't really all that bad.

Rebecca of Everything To Do With Books:

Everybody feels insecure about some things, outwardly I can think of a number of things. I have bad skin. I'm constantly buying a lot of facial products just to see if I can achieve clear skin. At high school I got teased about having bad skin and so ever since then I've felt like I need to get rid of my pimples. A lot of people tell me that I'm short, they say it quite meanly so now I'm really sensitive when it comes to height.

I have insecurities inwardly too. I'm extremely shy to the point where I don't feel comfortable talking to people for the first time. Usually when I'm in a group of people I worry about what to say that by the time I think of something to say about the topic, everyone else has started talking about something else. These days I try not to let these things get the best of me though. Nobody is perfect and really, while I do have insecurities I do like who I am.

Suzanne Supplee - YA author of Artichoke's Heart:

Going for a run has a way of making me appreciate my body parts, even the ones I’m not particularly fond of. The next time you find yourself scrutinizing your least favorite body part, imagine getting through your day without it. Running up that big hill next to my house would be difficult without a butt.

Christina of Reading Extensively:

Recently I was looking through some old photographs of myself as a child and I remembered that I didn't feel ugly when I was a kid. I remember that I liked my hair even though I wished it was longer but other than that I was just fine with how I looked. It wasn't until I got a little older that I hated my bumpy nose, my chicken pox scars, and my frizzy hair. It was nice to be able to remember a time when I didn't look down on myself because of my appearance. By high school I felt really unattractive and fat even though I wasn't. While I think I could have styled my hair better (I didn't use hair products at all) and worn clothing that was more flattering, I was really hard on myself about my appearance during my teen years.

Now as a thirty-something adult I have slowly come to terms with my nose although I do avoid three way mirrors! I have also come to terms with my chicken pox scars now that I've had some surgery scars added to them. My hair that I once hated for being frizzy is now falling out. I have a kind of hereditary hair loss so these days I am just happy to have my hair for as long as I have it, frizz and all. I know that I will probably wear a wig someday which is hard to think about but hopefully I will find one with the kind of hair I always wanted as a teen :) I still struggle with my appearance and sometimes I don't like to look in the mirror. On really bad days I still catalog all my flaws. As a teen I listened to the negative comments of my classmates and I let that influence how I felt about myself. Time has definitely given me some perspective on my looks but I have a long way to go. My goal for myself is to be healthy and to quit seeing only the negatives. I know I will never be stick thin like my mom and my younger sister but God meant for me to be curvy and short and most days I'm okay with that.

Sydney Salter - YA author of My Big Nose and Other Natural Disasters:

I didn’t like my nose in high school—and I blamed it for all kinds of things. Shyness, boyfriendlessness, the C I got in English… I moved on to college, fell in love, found my passion for writing, and learned that my nose, or any aspect of my appearance, has very little to do with my level of happiness, or success. All of that comes from the inside.

But I still hate seeing pictures of myself. I don’t check my hair, clothes, or even body size. I look at The Nose. As an author, I’m still getting used to having photos and videos of myself posted online. People snap photos at book events and Tweet them, add them to Facebook albums and blogs, totally oblivious to how my nose looks (or whether my eyes are closed, for that matter). They’re focused on the conversation and laughter we shared, not my silly nose issues. Again, it’s what comes from the inside that matters—but I still struggle with remembering that sometimes.

Jami of YA Addict:

I have always had issues with my weight. Growing up, I was always a little chunky. This didn’t start bothering me until I was in my early teens. I’d look at the models in clothing catalogs and notice how much skinnier they were than me. I became obsessed with my weight. I tried some pretty crazy things trying to lose weight. From the Hollywood juice diet, to slim fast, to only eating one meal a day, and eventually, I started trying to throw up my meals. I hate throwing up with a passion, so that didn’t last long. I did lose weight with some of my crazy antics, but I was never happy. I wouldn’t participate in many social events because of my weight. I would always tell myself, “Once I get to 120 pounds I will start wearing a bathing suit and hang out with everyone else at the beach”. I kept holding off on life. I didn’t feel like I was worthy enough to “live” because of my weight.

It was my boyfriend (who is now my husband) who got me to stop doing these things. He loved me for me, not the number on the scale. He taught me to love myself the way I am. I am a much happier person because of it. That is not to say I am never self-conscious about my weight. I still get nervous in public settings, especially when I am around a group of very skinny girls. After having two kids, I have some baby weight I am trying to lose. But this time, I am doing it the healthy way. I am trying to eat the right foods, but I am not punishing myself when I do have a brownie every now and then. Life is much too short to always skip dessert.

Continue reading You're Not Alone (1)

Purge Contest Winner

The Purge by Sarah Darer Littman contest is now closed! There were 27 entries, Randomizer.org has done it's thing, and I can now announce the winner is:

Llehn!
Congratulations! Your details have been emailed on to Sarah so she can email you your prize! Thank you to everyone who entered! Better luck next time!

Continue reading Purge Contest Winner